One of the obvious ways our society exposes its ills is when we judge another and sentence them to a prison sentence or to death, and HOW we express our feelings towards that individual (criminal), and what we do as a society to change so that such people are no longer created.

Dennis Rader murdered people in such a vicious and sick way (not that murder is okay in any other form) that I found it difficult to read and hear about it. I did watch the sentencing and heard Rader's comments and the emotional and strong statements from the victims' families. "I haven't prepared for this statement, but, you know, I'd just like for him to suffer for the rest of his life," Relford said, struggling for words before walking off. [Source: CNN] How is wishing anyone suffering going to change anything for the better? Yes, the victims' families are certainly entitled to their feelings and I completely sympathize with them, but do they realize they are matching energies with wishes for suffering? To wish suffering is to show the anger, hatred, pain, and sadism within the person wishing it. This is is a harmful energy being projected. What justifies that? It's an oxymoron - like a violent peace demonstration: it's still the war energy that is going on. If society wants to prevent more crimes (such as those horrific ones Rader committed), it MUST confront it's own ills and take responsibility for healing them. Putting a person away for life or executing them doesn't fix the problem.

Dennis Rader himself asked: "How many people do I have to kill?" He called himself a monster. That is a plea for help. Granted, he could have (and we wish he had) sought help in much more healthier and safer ways. He knew he was doing wrong, something was not normal with him. And yet, we focused on the crimes and not some of the source. I'm not saying forgive and forget - we cannot condone what he chose to do.

"I know the victims' families will never be able to forgive me. I hope somewhere deep down, eventually that will happen," he said. I brought the community, victims and families dishonor," he said. "It's all self-centered. ... I would call myself a sexual predator. Today is the day of judgment for me." Rader broke down repeatedly during his statement, which was at times emotional and tearful, at times bizarre and rambling and at times removed and matter-of-fact. "I take full responsibility," he said. "Remorse, I think it's here. I want to apologize to the victims' families," Rader said. "There's no way I can ever repay them." I don't doubt that a part of him truly believes what he said - whether or not it's fully integrated within him is not that certain, however. I don't think he's able to, yet. Who will help him through this? How can we, as a society, help prevent Rader from coming back in another incarnation and repeating his actions? For that matter, what about the victims and their families? They also need help to process this in a responsible and spiritual way so as not to carry this energy forward in their own DNA, their cellular memory, and continue the pattern? Are any souls expendable - even though Rader might have thought so?

I think about Scott Peterson, Charles Manson, and all the sickness that exists. People ask how such people are created? Well, our society creates them! Our families and institutions create them! We tend to pass on our dysfunctions to our children because we're unaware we're so dysfunctional. We're too busy putting on facades. Our world doesn't have clear vision nor insight to the point where we can prevent abusing our children because we won't face our own demons and heal them. We are in as much denial as a Scott Peterson is and was taught by his family to be. [Jackie Peterson told her son Scott to deny, deny, deny murdering Laci and their baby.] Peterson, Manson, Rader, and even OJ Simpson and Michael Jackson are all showing you their anger, their pain, their need for control because they feel so powerless and irresponsible, that our society is wearing blinders and unable to change beliefs, to have heart and soul - empathy.

Each and every time we teach our children that our religion, country, race, or gender is superior to another we teach them misinformation, hate, fear, lack of compassion and we teach them to feel they're more important than anyone else and nothing can touch them. We teach them to disconnect. Each and every time you teach your child to feel guilty, you teach them self-hatred and self-doubt. Each and every time you abuse your child or give your child YOUR problems, or tell your child not to feel what they feel, or condemn them for having feelings, or don't make them accountable for their actions and teach them that everything has a consequence, and don't help them to process their feelings properly, you are helping to make them a dysfunctional person living in self-doubt and denial. Then how would you expect them to act as adults?!

Our society isn't able to, or want to, see the warning signs early enough to prevent children from becoming monster murderers, or sexual predators. Even when such a person is staring us in the face and taking our children under the pretense that it's for innocent reasons, we want to believe them rather than see clearly what's really going on. No, I don't mean to mistrust everyone: I am saying that we need to use ALL of our senses (including our brain), and check ourselves, first. Are we so needy, so powerless, so fearful, so hateful? Do feel feel like a victim, prostitute, king/queen, healer, or do we feel like a terrorist? Which archetypes are controlling your own life? What are we that we are drawing the same energy to ourselves and the cycle goes on and on? We MUST look to ourselves, first, before pointing the finger ONLY at criminals and believing we had nothing to do with their creation. We MUST begin to expand our awareness and expel old and inaccurate ideas, like needing a scapegoat because we're too cowardly to face ourselves.

One thing is certain - Rader's life is not yet over. He has just entered a new chapter in it. What I know from psychology is that people who have no conscience usually cannot get one as an adult. The damage is already done. There is little one can do, but I do think that spiritual approaches have a better chance of reaching people like this. His tears indicated that he is at least somewhat aware of this - his freedom in our society is over, the trial is over, and now he has to pay the price for his actions. "He'll live and die like an animal and is condemned to hell," said one. That's not necessarily true. A person doesn't have to die in order to have a life review and be the judge and healer of one's own actions. Rader isn't doomed to hell - he's doomed to a life-long prison sentence. Thank goodness he won't harm another person in this lifetime. What will he do with that time? Only what the victims' families wish he would? Get real. If he ends up in hell after his physical life ends, it will be because he judged himself to end up in such a place of his own creation.

I think if you want to wish anything for people like Rader, why not wish them the best you can? Why not send them someone to their cell so that they begin to realize what they've done and how that began, and how they can heal so that will heal the future as well as the present? Why not teach that every action has a reaction, that what we put out we get back? Why not teach compassion and responsibility in a spiritual way instead of using religion or laws to judge and condemn them and leave the real humanity out of it? Each person is part of us genetically and spiritually, so it's up to us to heal ourselves and raise healthy children and adults. We have to decide and make the changes that will blossom with increased understanding.